120 Quotations by Steven Wright
- 61. I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.

- 62. I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Ren ...

- 63. I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, What for? I said, I'm going to buy ...

- 64. I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija boar ...

- 65. I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, If I melt dry ice, can I take a ba ...

- 66. I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

- 67. I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, Hey, mayb ...

- 68. I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

- 69. I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas ...

- 70. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation

- 71. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

- 72. If dracula can't see his reflection in the mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?

- 73. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

- 74. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for

- 75. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you stra ...

- 76. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, d ...

- 77. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague

- 78. If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

- 79. If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

- 80. If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

Steven Wright Quotes by Power Quotations
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