120 Quotations by Steven Wright
- 101. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
- 102. There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalato ...
- 103. There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
- 104. There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back you can see a guy tossin ...
- 105. They say the sun never sets over the British Empire, but it rises every morning. The sky must get aw ...
- 106. Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.
- 107. Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. ...
- 108. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men
- 109. What's another word for Thesaurus?
- 110. When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and ...
- 111. When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall loo ...
- 112. When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this kee ...
- 113. When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
- 114. When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually ...
- 115. When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. ...
- 116. When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few m ...
- 117. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it
- 118. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write ...
- 119. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
- 120. You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows u ...
Steven Wright Quotes by Power Quotations
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