Famous Quotes / Steven Wright
120 Quotations by Steven Wright
- 1. A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space ...
- 2. All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for cerami ...
- 3. Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time.
- 4. Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What ...
- 5. Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- 6. Clones are people two
- 7. Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- 8. Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- 9. Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
- 10. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks
- 11. Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
- 12. Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
- 13. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag
- 14. Every now and then I like to lean out my window, look up and smile for a satellite picture.
- 15. Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
- 16. For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them f ...
- 17. George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
- 18. He was a multi-millionaire. Wanna know how he made all of his money? He designed the little diagrams ...
- 19. How come abbreviated is such a long word
- 20. How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there