Famous Quotes / Erma Bombeck
82 Quotations by Erma Bombeck
- 1. A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- 2. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
- 3. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend-and he's a priest.
- 4. A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
- 5. All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white ...
- 6. Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
- 7. Anyone who watches three football games in a row should be declared brain dead.
- 8. Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
- 9. Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work ...
- 10. Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishe ...
- 11. Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
- 12. Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish th ...
- 13. Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
- 14. Education is so important when it comes to domesticity. I don't know why no one ever thought to past ...
- 15. Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but moth ...
- 16. For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
- 17. For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my hu ...
- 18. Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the ...
- 19. Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity ...
- 20. Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned ...