385 Quotations with Steven.
- 321. Steven Wright: I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the sh ...
- 322. Steven Wright: I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, If I melt dry ...
- 323. Steven Wright: I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
- 324. Steven Wright: I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radi ...
- 325. Steven Wright: I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
- 326. Steven Wright: I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, ...
- 327. Steven Wright: If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what ...
- 328. Steven Wright: If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn ...
- 329. Steven Wright: If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
- 330. Steven Wright: If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
- 331. Steven Wright: If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
- 332. Steven Wright: In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over wha ...
- 333. Steven Wright: It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay righ ...
- 334. Steven Wright: It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
- 335. Steven Wright: My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask h ...
- 336. Steven Wright: My friend invented Cliff's Notes. When I asked him how he got such a great idea, ...
- 337. Steven Wright: My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
- 338. Steven Wright: My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewher ...
- 339. Steven Wright: One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by ch ...
- 340. Steven Wright: The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in f ...
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