Famous Quotes
385 Quotations with Steven.
- 301. Steven Wright: I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to eve ...
- 302. Steven Wright: I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funera ...
- 303. Steven Wright: I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
- 304. Steven Wright: I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front o ...
- 305. Steven Wright: I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while ...
- 306. Steven Wright: I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a messag ...
- 307. Steven Wright: I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furio ...
- 308. Steven Wright: I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
- 309. Steven Wright: I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goe ...
- 310. Steven Wright: I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
- 311. Steven Wright: I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much time.
- 312. Steven Wright: I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
- 313. Steven Wright: I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said pet supplies. So I did. Then ...
- 314. Steven Wright: I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
- 315. Steven Wright: I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was loc ...
- 316. Steven Wright: I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, ten-fou ...
- 317. Steven Wright: I went to a cafe that advertised breakfast anytime, so I ordered French Toast du ...
- 318. Steven Wright: I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
- 319. Steven Wright: I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
- 320. Steven Wright: I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, What for? I sa ...