Famous Quotes / Groucho Marx
103 Quotations by Groucho Marx
- 41. I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA ...
- 42. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- 43. I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
- 44. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
- 45. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
- 46. I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
- 47. I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
- 48. I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
- 49. I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
- 50. I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
- 51. I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes ...
- 52. If i cannot smoke in heaven, then i shall not go.
- 53. If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
- 54. If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
- 55. In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
- 56. It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
- 57. Love goes out the door when money comes innuendo.
- 58. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- 59. Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
- 60. Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.