Famous Quotes
273 Quotations with Wright.
- 201. Steven Wright: Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
- 202. Steven Wright: For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same ...
- 203. Steven Wright: George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear ...
- 204. Steven Wright: He was a multi-millionaire. Wanna know how he made all of his money? He designed ...
- 205. Steven Wright: I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sle ...
- 206. Steven Wright: I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap dep ...
- 207. Steven Wright: I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get ...
- 208. Steven Wright: I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You co ...
- 209. Steven Wright: I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to eve ...
- 210. Steven Wright: I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funera ...
- 211. Steven Wright: I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
- 212. Steven Wright: I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front o ...
- 213. Steven Wright: I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while ...
- 214. Steven Wright: I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a messag ...
- 215. Steven Wright: I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furio ...
- 216. Steven Wright: I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
- 217. Steven Wright: I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goe ...
- 218. Steven Wright: I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
- 219. Steven Wright: I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much time.
- 220. Steven Wright: I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.