Famous Quotes
3884 Quotations with Even.
- 3561. Steven Wright: I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap dep ...
- 3562. Steven Wright: I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get ...
- 3563. Steven Wright: I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You co ...
- 3564. Steven Wright: I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to eve ...
- 3565. Steven Wright: I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funera ...
- 3566. Steven Wright: I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
- 3567. Steven Wright: I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front o ...
- 3568. Steven Wright: I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while ...
- 3569. Steven Wright: I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a messag ...
- 3570. Steven Wright: I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furio ...
- 3571. Steven Wright: I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
- 3572. Steven Wright: I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goe ...
- 3573. Steven Wright: I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
- 3574. Steven Wright: I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much time.
- 3575. Steven Wright: I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
- 3576. Steven Wright: I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said pet supplies. So I did. Then ...
- 3577. Steven Wright: I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
- 3578. Steven Wright: I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was loc ...
- 3579. Steven Wright: I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, ten-fou ...
- 3580. Steven Wright: I went to a cafe that advertised breakfast anytime, so I ordered French Toast du ...