43 Quotations by Rodney Dangerfield
- 21. I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
- 22. I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put ...
- 23. If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
- 24. Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, yo ...
- 25. Life is just a bowl of pits.
- 26. My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
- 27. My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
- 28. My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
- 29. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly to ...
- 30. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- 31. My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said ...
- 32. My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming ho ...
- 33. My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know ...
- 34. On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
- 35. One time a guy pulled a knife on me... I could tell it wasn't a professional job - it had butter on ...
- 36. So I called up my wife the other day. I said, 'Honey, I've been thinking about you, I'm getting exci ...
- 37. Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
- 38. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
- 39. What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
- 40. What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wif ...
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes by Power Quotations
|