532 Quotations with Steve.
- 461. Steven Wright: I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, If I melt dry ...
- 462. Steven Wright: I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
- 463. Steven Wright: I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radi ...
- 464. Steven Wright: I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
- 465. Steven Wright: I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, ...
- 466. Steven Wright: If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what ...
- 467. Steven Wright: If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn ...
- 468. Steven Wright: If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
- 469. Steven Wright: If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
- 470. Steven Wright: If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
- 471. Steven Wright: In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over wha ...
- 472. Steven Wright: It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay righ ...
- 473. Steven Wright: It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
- 474. Steven Wright: My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask h ...
- 475. Steven Wright: My friend invented Cliff's Notes. When I asked him how he got such a great idea, ...
- 476. Steven Wright: My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
- 477. Steven Wright: My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewher ...
- 478. Steven Wright: One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by ch ...
- 479. Steven Wright: The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in f ...
- 480. Steven Wright: There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were tra ...
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