16 Quotations by Tommy Cooper
- 1. A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around ...
- 2. A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I ...
- 3. And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said, ' ...
- 4. I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortuna ...
- 5. I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so ...
- 6. I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already!
- 7. It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just s ...
- 8. Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
- 9. Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.
- 10. My wife had a go at me last night. She said, You'll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirt ...
- 11. So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I ...
- 12. So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stoppi ...
- 13. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me Can you give me a lift? I said Sure, you loo ...
- 14. So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted.' ...
- 15. Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
- 16. You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the wind ...
Tommy Cooper Quotes by Power Quotations
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