Famous Quotes / Rita Rudner
26 Quotations by Rita Rudner
- 1. Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
- 2. I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
- 3. I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
- 4. I like men who wear earrings. They've bought jewelry and they've experienced pain.
- 5. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest o ...
- 6. I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel bette ...
- 7. I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bo ...
- 8. I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
- 9. I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits ...
- 10. I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
- 11. In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
- 12. Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want ...
- 13. Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling t ...
- 14. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
- 15. My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- 16. My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
- 17. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our ...
- 18. My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and ...
- 19. My mother buried three husbands ... and two of them were only napping.
- 20. My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.