Famous Quotes / Phyllis Diller
17 Quotations by Phyllis Diller
- 1. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- 2. Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
- 3. Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
- 4. Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't ...
- 5. Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops sno ...
- 6. Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
- 7. I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
- 8. If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
- 9. It's an ill wind that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
- 10. Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A chinese man threw up o ...
- 11. My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
- 12. Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight.
- 13. Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- 14. Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
- 15. The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in p ...
- 16. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next ...
- 17. Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age -- as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.