541 Quotations by Mark Twain
- 201. If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
- 202. If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
- 203. If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal d ...
- 204. If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you ...
- 205. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- 206. In a museum in Havana there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one wh ...
- 207. In Boston they ask, "How much does he know?" In New York, "How much is he worth?" In Philadelphia, " ...
- 208. In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes ...
- 209. In his private heart no man much respects himself.
- 210. In India, cold weather is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity o ...
- 211. In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a ...
- 212. In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of consci ...
- 213. In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idio ...
- 214. In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second- ...
- 215. In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
- 216. In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalist ...
- 217. Intellectual "work" is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
- 218. It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do ...
- 219. It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal ...
- 220. It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.
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