Famous Quotes / Henny Youngman
12 Quotations by Henny Youngman
- 1. I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
- 2. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
- 3. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
- 4. I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in- law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it i ...
- 5. I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
- 6. If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for in the morning, sleep late.
- 7. My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
- 8. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way
- 9. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret
- 10. What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
- 11. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- 12. You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.