48 Quotations by George Carlin
- 1. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the l ...
![](/img/view.gif)
- 2. As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
![As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.. George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 3. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
![At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.. George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 4. Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.
![Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.. George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 5. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
![Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.. George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 6. Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fa ...
![Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fa .... George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 7. Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.
![Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.. George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
![Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?. George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 9. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
![Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.. George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 10. Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, andanyone going faster than you is ...
![Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, andanyone going faster than you is .... George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 11. Hobbies cost money but interests are free.
![Hobbies cost money but interests are free.. George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 12. Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dish ...
![Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dish .... George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 13. I don't like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.
![I don't like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.. George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 14. I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for ...
![I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for .... George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 15. I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Buil ...
![I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Buil .... George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 16. I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
![I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.. George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 17. I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe ...
![I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe .... George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 18. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what ...
![I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what .... George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 19. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
![I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.. George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
- 20. I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
![I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.. George Carlin.](/img/view.gif)
George Carlin Quotes by Power Quotations
|