18 Quotations by Emo Philips
- 1. I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of ...
- 2. I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If yo ...
- 3. I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, I'm going to mop the floor with your f ...
- 4. I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.
- 5. I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know ...
- 6. I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.
- 7. I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wa ...
- 8. I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than ret ...
- 9. I'm a great lover, I'll bet.
- 10. My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl ...
- 11. My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
- 12. My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
- 13. New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I sai ...
- 14. Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're t ...
- 15. The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of ...
- 16. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't ...
- 17. Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume ...
- 18. You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked ...
Emo Philips Quotes by Power Quotations
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