Famous Quotes / Woody Allen
127 Quotations by Woody Allen
- 21. How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ ...
- 22. How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
- 23. I am at two with nature.
- 24. I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
- 25. I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- 26. I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- 27. I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I-I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, ...
- 28. I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
- 29. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality by living forever ...
- 30. I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
- 31. I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
- 32. I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
- 33. I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
- 34. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
- 35. I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
- 36. I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Ru ...
- 37. I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
- 38. I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
- 39. I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and ...
- 40. I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.